chrysalis - everything you see; he's done to himself.

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untitled story (with stars)

  • girl is not lonely, though is always "alone"
  • her desire is to "return" to her home planet, far off near the Orion constellation. She claims, Halley's Comet will bring her home.
  • transfer student is moved into the apartment next to her's. They also take mythology together at school. He is put next to her.
  • for a project on constellations and their origins, he is paired up with her, since she was the only one without a partner. She doesn't mind, but she's already done her research and constellation chosen: Orion.
  • they start to hang out at the library together, gathering more information and writing reports. They also spend evenings stargazing at a hill near the school.
  • he is approached by a clique of students, mostly drama kids, who wish to include him in their group, while taking him away from the girl. e joines the group but refuses to leave the girl.
  • he thinks it's strange the girl is never lonely. She tells him about her friend Eir, who is a friend from her home planet, and can change into anything she wants. It weirds him out at first, but soon he comes to enjoy her quirkiness.
  • school play comes along and he auditions. He gets lead male role. The female lead role is taken from a theatre girl who likes him. He doesn't notice, and he falls in love with the Astro girl.
  • because of the play, he becomes unavailable a lot. He wants to see Astro girl more because he loves her, but her lack of interest in him frustrates him. He puts his frustration into the play, delivering a better performance. The play becomes a great success and he is scouted by a talent agency, and given a theatre scholarship. He doesn't want to take it because he will be far from the girl.
  • Astro girl watches the play, and when learns about his scholarship, congratulates him wholeheartedly. He becomes more frustrated when she tells him Halley's comet swings by soon, and she would be "returning home" soon. In a fit, he grabs her face and kisses her. She shoves him away with, "What are you doing?!" He blurts, "I love you." He then proceeds to tell her all his feelings/thoughts on the matter (while blushing, and she is in a stupor). Angry at the end, she leaves.
  • Astro doesn't talk with him more than needed, and her personality toward him is like the "drama kid". It pains him.
  • night before Halley's comet passes, he phones Astro to apologize and to plead her to not leave (though he doesn't by into her leaving). She happily accepts his apology, and things briefly return to normal. He is relieved. Her final words to him are, "Goodbye, ___. Wish me luck." And he does.
  • the next morning, Astro doesn't come to school and he worries. He phones Astro when he gets home, only to find the number disconnected. He doesn't know where she lives, so he simply panics himself to sleep.
  • next morning, he talks to the teachers about Astro, and they tell him she moved away to UK to live with her dad, for her mother was abusive.
  • she had apparently a giant crush on the mythology teacher, which explained why she had always wanted to do so well in the class, and why the mythology teacher was the only one she really socialized with.
  • he visits the mythology classroom to talk with the teacher. Teacher tells him Astro was his favorite student, and that he is sad she left. He was also aware of her feelings, and responded positively. He was glad Astro was so understanding. Together, they created Eir, some years ago, to cure Astro's loneliness. She was told to pretend Eir was anyone and speak to em. Teacher thinks it was Astro's desire to escape and be "more" that separated her from her peers.
  • he moves on from the event.

Notes below.

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everyone wants to be unique

Everyone wants to be unique here. I haven't seen anyone who's wanted to be "the same" as anyone else, but I don't doubt there being someone. What bothers me, is that in striving to be "unique", we might not be truly achieving what is "ourselves." It is the same when one wants to be like others.

We don't label ourselves. That would be untrue to our nature. Wanting to be a stereotype is disgusting, and being proud over being called one (after trying to become it) is also disgusting. When we are ourselves, we may be called stereotypes. Prep, dork, gangster, skater, hipster... While these may be "traits" we have, it is not something we initially set out to be, nor is it something we should strive for. It is something we "are" or "become" through growing up.

Hipster Museum
That was the first topic we did when doing "Museum" in acting class today. I was really bothered by it. Why such a stereotype? In an acting class?
If a "hipster" was called such, wouldn't s/he be insulted? Wasn't the idea of a hipster supposed to be "anti mainstream" ? Over time, hipster became a type of stream that was defined as "anti things-common-in-town." So, a true hipster would not want to be called such. Or rather, someone who truly was against mainstream causes and thoughts would want to be called their name.

"I am Brian."
"My name is Nicole."

I, myself, am against mainstream ideas because I think they are confining, and cause isolation. It's not that I am "anti", though. I believe people should dis/like things out of honesty, and not "because it is the popular/unpopular" thing to do.

I believe topics get blown out of proportions due to them suddenly becoming "mainstream" and I think it is gross. Once a certain group gets a hold of a material, it blows up. And then the "anti mainstream" people immediately sway away from it... It's like a bunch of sheep, no matter what "crowd" you want to fit into.

People need to be themselves, without fear and with courage.




Light is a bad man.

[6:48:26 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): I like veggietables
[6:48:40 PM] Light: I didnt eat veggies untill I was 11 wwww
[6:50:57 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): that's
[6:50:57 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): weird
[6:51:05 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): I've always loved my veggies
[6:51:58 PM] Light: hmm nah it sucks www
[6:52:29 PM] Light: I keep eating them tho
[6:53:22 PM] Light: I get forced to eat them lol
[6:53:37 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): they have lots of nutrients!
[6:53:59 PM] Light: hmm maybe
[6:54:02 PM] Light: I LIKE MEAT
[6:54:07 PM] Light: MEAT MAN
[6:54:07 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): I DON'T LIKE MEAT
[6:54:10 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): ME NO MEAT MAN
[6:54:14 PM] Light: WHAT
[6:54:19 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): YASSS
[6:55:24 PM] kiwa (,,Ծ‸Ծ,,): LOL




Online Predators

I highly doubt an internet predator would agree to a meetup a year in advance, and then continue to "keep up appearances" for the following time.

I'm not saying chances are zero; I'm saying the chances are slim. Most internet predators want instant gratification under an anonymous facade.

Some would start their "attack" as soon as communication is established. These persons are the most obvious, and half are trolls.

There are some who are classy about it, choosing to adopt an online persona before making their 'attack', or even approaching their target as a friend with hope of charming their way into target's heart. These people use lies to try and persuade the target into visiting them, sending pornographic photos/videos, or other explicit acts. These ploys can range from well thought out and believable to loosely planned and on-the-spot thinking. The more background put into the online persona, usually the more believable, and the more 'catches' the online predator makes.

There is a reason why the online predator chose the internet as his means of kidnapping and molestation, rather than in real life. Most likely, the risk factor. Where in real life said predator would have to worry a lot more about kidnapping and keeping his/her actions a secret, where online, the target leaves his/her own home (comfort zone) to visit or go meet the predator.

Online, the target trusts the predator, and thus, there is no reason for the predator to hide anything, a plan/hidden agenda is already in place.




On Jealousy

2012年1月11日 【キワ蝶】

I don't think it's any one thing in particular. Jealousy houses a lot of different contexts and material. Many different events or other emotions can trigger jealousy. But on the occasions jealousy is desired (esp. in relationships), this is a type of security.

There is jealousy like envy, jealousy like desire, and jealousy like security. What makes them "jealousy", and not their respective emotions, is the tinge one gets from experiencing and/or having jealousy felt towards them.

Envy/jealousy is wanting what another has, in a mostly materialistic way.

Desire/jealousy is more personal, a rather passionate desire of a non object.

Security/jealousy is for humans. In the way that, one being jealous makes us feel secure about our feelings. With the feeling of jealousy, it reassures an insecure lover/person.

For example, for work, a girlfriend has to create a projectplan with a male co worker, and a lot of time is spend on the assignment. The boyfriend gets jealous, because the girlfriend is spending more time with the male co worker than with him. What the boyfriend feels makes the girlfriend feel secure about his feelings. Him being jealous shows her his feelings are strong and genuine. He loves her enough to be jealous over something essentially trivial.

Security/jealousy is not just the labeling of a generalized event. The initial boyfriend-to-girlfriend jealousy is most likely desire/jealousy, but the girlfriend is insecure, and views jealousy as affirmation of her boyfriend's feelings.

Also, in a non intimate relationship, where either side is unsure about his/her own feelings, the sudden eruption of something as strong as "jealousy" could turn it into, "oohh! I do like him/her!"

Security/jealousy describes all goingson in the situation where one partner is jealous and the other parter welcomes it as affirmation of affection.